Better Late than never?

I haven't felt much like writing. We went in to visit with Chemo Kaufman, a great guy and I'm glad we have him for this coming stage, but he was just so full of choices. It appears that there is really no universally accepted treatment for Pancreatic Cancer. Some people just get operated on, some get chemo, some get chemoradiation, some use a chemo drug called Gemzar and some use one called 5 FU. Doctor's in Europe prefer chemo without radiation as opposed to the US where they prefer the radiation.



So we came home and read everything we could find on Pancreatic Cancer and its treatment. I'm not sure that was such a great idea. It didn't really illuminate the 'right' choice for a course of treatment, but it did a lot to provide me with a couple of sleepless nights. We contacted this great organization called PanCan.org, got ourselves assigned to an advocate there, and had a couple of great conversations with him - that took a lot of the gloom and doom off of it for me. He agreed with Kaufman that people should consider participating in clinical trials if possible. Trials are performed by cancer research groups looking to advance treatment possibilities for patients. It turns out that UCSF is currently recruiting people for a trial involving Gemzar in tandem with some other new drug - they want to give people this new combination and then follow them to see if it provides some better results than Gemzar alone. I called them and it seems like I fit the criteria for inclusion in the trial. So I'm going to see the Doctors there on the 30th. I called Kaufman and told him that 1. if they accept me, then I will be participating in the trial and 2. if they refuse me, I will call him on the 31st with my decision as to the style of treatment I want. And I've stopped reading stuff.



I'm leaning towards no radiation. It seems that every one of the choices provides about the same kind of outcome ratios - why not go for the one that's easiest on me and mine.



Went to chemo class today. It was a great class (all things considered) taught by a survivor - one of the oncology nurses. I hope I get her. Full of tips and information and humor and compassion. The worst thing for her was losing her hair. Go figure. She said that men frequently have to shave less often. And anyone that met my brothers knows that my full head of hair is living on borrowed time anyway. She talked a lot about maintaining your weight and fighting the affects of chemo on your appetite and the fatigue that it causes. I'm feeling so proud of the 13 lovely pounds that I've worked so hard to put on that I'm loathe to start the process of losing them. My energy is coming back a little everyday - I've returned to work (very short days on a trial basis, but hey, work is work).